


maybe you should stop punching the wall, moron

by cabinet_man



Category: swag team epic
Genre: Anger Management, Fluff, Other, very bad anger management for the most part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24696622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabinet_man/pseuds/cabinet_man
Summary: Basically: you have anger issues. And it’s pretty bad.
Relationships: Lord English (Homestuck)/Original Character(s), Lord English/Ashton Sampson (STE)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	maybe you should stop punching the wall, moron

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god okay so this was like. a vent fic kinda bc i was really angry and it helped so much anyways here have more lord^2 content bc i said so

“God DAMMIT!”

Out of pure frustration, you slam your foot into the wall, ignoring the seering pain it inflicts as you stare at the very obvious hole that you just created. You growl out something completely unintelligible before your fist collides with the plastering as well.

To say that you’re angry is an understatement.

You’re actually not really sure what’s gotten you so worked up in the first place. All you know is that you’re absolutely  _ furious  _ and you want to break shit. You’re naturally just a violent person, you think. You have a strong tendency to just lash out when things don’t go your way, and typically these tendencies are nothing but impulsive.

Basically: you have anger issues. And it’s pretty bad.

There’s really not much else to say other than that. You’re fully aware of your impulsiveness and short temper, and you’re really trying to work on them, but sometimes you feel as if they aren’t really getting any better. It’s whatever, you guess.

You shake from anger as you try to regain your composure and level your breathing, but it’s proving to be extremely difficult. The heavy thud of what are no doubt footsteps sound from outside, and before you can strike the wall again, the door opens.

“AND JUST. WHAT THE HELL. ARE YOU DOING?”

Despite having known that he was there, Lord English’s booming voice still manages to make you jump. You hesitantly turn to face him.

“Um,” you reply, “remodeling.” For some reason, you decide to emphasize this by once again kicking your foot into the wall, only further chipping away at the damage you’ve already done.

“REMODELING,” he echoes, knowing fully well that you aren’t doing anything of the sort.

“ _ Yeah _ ,” you snap at him in an attempt to make him just leave you alone. You’ve been together long enough for him to understand that when you’re angry, you shouldn’t be bothered much. The last time you were this enraged, things hadn’t exactly gone well. Not only was an entire quarter of Felt Manor destroyed, but you had also caused an all-out war to break out between the leprechauns.

You had actually known the reason behind your anger that day, but this? You just couldn’t figure it out. And that only made you  _ angrier. _

Lord English doesn’t show any signs of leaving, though, and instead manages to maneuver his way through the doorway in order to reach where you were standing. You’re still glaring, and your hands are balled up into fists, but as you look at him, your anger dissipates only a little. Your glare softens and your fists relax a bit. If you looked, you’re almost certain that you would see dents in your palms from how your nails were digging into them only moments before.

One of his claws brushes your cheek and you only grunt in response.

“TELL ME,” he says, “WHAT IS WRONG.”

You groan. You were really hoping that he wouldn’t ask that question. You’re no good at any kind of confrontation-  _ especially  _ when it was about your very own emotions and feelings. It’s not like you can’t talk about them, but rather you just don’t know  _ how  _ to talk about them. You’ve only ever relied on yourself and yourself alone. That’s just how you roll. Besides, you really don’t know what to say to him. You have no idea what’s wrong- you’re just infuriated. That’s basically the extent of your knowledge on the current situation.

“I don’t know,” you hesitantly admit to him, folding your arms over your chest. You can’t find yourself looking at him during this, so you’re starting to find that glass of water that you left on your wardrobe  _ incredibly  _ interesting. You can still feel his intense gaze on you nonetheless.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” he asks, and your feelings only intensify. Your eyes snap up to his, and suddenly you’re feeling incredibly defensive despite it being a completely innocent question.

“I just!” You run your hands down your face, just barely holding yourself back from doing it a little more violently than necessary. “I don’t know! I’m just angry! For no goddamn reason!”

The Lord of Time is somehow managing to be incredibly patient with you. You’ve seen how he’s acted out before when something doesn’t go how he wants it to, and once again some of your anger is simmering away. You don’t think you could ever truly stay mad at him. You haven’t said it yet, but he knows, and he doesn’t push you on the matter.

“MAYBE. YOU SHOULD TAKE A DEEP BREATH,” he says, carefully ruffling your hair. You glare at him as you swat his claws away from your scalp. “IT WOULD. MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.”

You groan, rolling your eyes at him.

“I know but I just-”

“TAKE A DEEP BREATH.”

You huff, finding yourself becoming more and more agitated, but comply with his order nonetheless. Air fills your lungs and you find yourself closing your eyes. You hold your breath for a moment, and then exhale. You feel a little better.

“Okay there I did your stupid fucking breathing exc-”

“AGAIN.”

“Fucking really?!  _ Again _ ?” Your anger hits you again full-force. “Urgh! That’s so lame!”

“JUST BREATHE. UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY. FEEL BETTER.”

“Urghhh fine!”

You take more than one deep breath this time, feeling incredibly self-conscious as you try and level yourself. God, this is so stupid. You can’t believe he’s actually getting away with bossing you around like this. It’s  _ horrible _ .

Eventually, though, you start to feel more at ease. Less irritable. Your shoulders slump in defeat.

“DID IT HELP?” Lord English asks you, tilting his head a little to the side.

“Yeah. Yeah it did,” you reply, crossing your arms like a petulant child.

“AND?”

“And what?”

“SAY IT. SAY I WAS CORRECT.”

“Oh my God I am  _ not  _ saying that.”

“BUT IT IS TRUE. SAY IT.”

“No.”

“YES.”

“No.”

“YES.”

“No!”

“SAY IT OR I WILL BURN YOUR CAT FIGHTING BOOKS.”

“OH MY GOD DON’T DO THAT YOU DICKHEAD!”

“THEN SAY IT.”

You dramatically groan, slouching your posture and letting your arms fall down to your sides in order to further add to the look you were going for.

“Fiiiine! Okay! You were right! Happy?”

“YES. I AM VERY PLEASED.”

“I can’t fucking stand you.”

Lord English picks you up by your cape and drops you into the open palm of his other hand, causing you to land right on your ass. He gazes down at you with an odd look on his face.

“YOU DO KNOW. THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KEEP ACTING. LIKE AN ARROGANT TWAT.”

“What.”

“YOU HEARD ME.”

You glare at him, but you can’t find yourself getting mad at him. You start to laugh a little, and you cover your face with your hands as your chortling turns more into a cackle. You can just barely make out the smirk Lord English is adorning, and he starts to laugh with you.

After you begin to regain your composure, you rise to your feet and stand up onto your tip-toes in order to peck him on the cheek.

“Thank you, I needed that.”

“YOU ARE THANKING ME. FOR YOU BEING AN INSUFFERABLE PRICK?”

You crack a smile, and lightly pat his face. “Shut up! God, you’re so annoying.”

“YOU ARE SMILING.”

You clasp a hand over your mouth and immediately look away from him.

“No I’m not,” you reply, although your eyes are still squinty and your face is flushed red. “Shut up.”

“YOU’RE ADORABLE,” he says, and ruffles your hair again.

“I’ll kick your ass next time.”

“WE WILL HAVE TO SEE ABOUT THAT.”

Yeah, you’re definitely in love with this motherfucker.

**Author's Note:**

> anonumii @ twitter


End file.
